I've been house sitting this week and it's actually been pretty fun. I'm watching two dogs: Twix and Princess and they are adorable and loving. I've been feeding them, playing with them, letting them in and out of the house, and letting them sleep with me at night. This morning I realized that one of the dogs had wet the bed. So I washed the sheets and cleaned the spot and all was right with the world again. I was thinking as I set their food dishes down and they ran to devour their breakfast that I wished I was a dog. For real... no worries. Not worried about how they will pay their bills or eat their next meal... Not worried about where they will sleep. Everything is provided for them.
Now...it seems with all that perfect provision that they wouldn't have a thing to worry about, and yet they seem to freak out much more than you would think they would. I mean, they are running back and forth until you set the tray down- fighting with the other dog to eat the food out of their bowl. They bark when you get home, hoping you will pay attention to them. When they are ready to come in, they sit by the door with their puppy eyes begging that you will let them come back in, hoping. They sit at the edge of the bed hoping that you will find it in your good heart to let you up... They still act like strays. They have the heart of a pauper. Even though they have everything they need and everything is provided for them, they still live as if they are poor and in need. Like at any moment, you will take it all away from them.
All this time wishing I was a dog and realizing that by my own choice, I choose to live like a dog sometimes. I still worry he will take it all away. That one day his hand won't be there to feed me, clothe me, provide.
Sometimes I still live like a pauper.
The TRUTH is: God will supply my every need. He has fed me from his hand since I was born. He has always provided me jobs, a place to live, people to love, clothes to wear, and EVEN MORE than I could ever ask for and dream. He is extravagant. He flourishes my life with his goodness.
The TRUTH is: I am no longer a pauper, I am a princess! I have been adopted into a royal family who loves me and will supply my every need. A family who opens doors and windows for me; who has wooed my into a spacious place, free from restriction. A family that can do impossible things!
So here I am. On the outside. I know there is food and water inside, and a nice place to sleep. I know I've been let out for some fresh air and fresh perspective and to do what I need to do. :-) I know it is temporary. The door WILL open, and the provision will follow.
It's hard sometimes. In the inbetween. In the time between the promise and the provision.
I know God is moving. I know he's asked me to STEP OUT in big ways. And I am in. I am in for the long haul with Him. And I will go with him and I will believe that he is who he says he is and that HE will PROVIDE all of my needs!
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