Months Later and I Still Think About China...

It's interesting how a place and a face can so invade your space.

Rhyming is fun, once in a while.

Contending for a promise is hard when it seems impossible.  But I've also discovered that when you can hold that promise with completely open hands, you can find freedom.  I believe what the Lord has said to me.  I believe him.  I believe the dreams, the visions, the words, the prophecies, the scripture, the lessons, the books, the passages, the coincidences and all the other confirmations God sent my way to let me know that , "Yes, Melissa.  I have spoken this." but also that, it wasn't constant confirmation to guarantee the promise, but to let me know that this would be hard.  Near impossible.  An absolute miracle.

BUT HERE IS THE FREEDOM.

Holding a promise with both hands is knowing, but giving, and letting, and being.  I know what the Lord has said, and so I give it to him freely, with abandon.  TRUSTING him.  Trusting that I have to give back what was shown to me, because it was never and will never be mine.  It will always be his.  God let us have free will.  He lets us choose.  And that releases all control out of my hands.  It is God and it is choice.  And my part?  I stand.

Until God moves my heart along and changes the subject, I stand.  I do not move.  I believe.

But I believe with a quietness, and a peace.  A peace that requires nothing of me except faith.

I don't fast unless he asks. I don't pound my chest in war, unless he asks.  I have done those things, but now I wait.  I have surrendered.  It has all died.  Multiple times...over and over....cruel death after death....and now there is just life.

Me and Him.  He and I.  King and Princess.  The way it was meant to be.  There is only good for me.  There is only blessing and abundance.  So I rest...my hands holding a promise.  Wide open.

Knowing that no matter what--- no matter what man may choose--- I have made my choice.

My king, my love, my best friend, my safe.

And I know that all is well.  And no matter what outcome, I win.  I win.  And Love wins.

Love wins.

He Always Comes Through

God's hand is mighty to save.  He loves it.  He just loves saving the day and showing you that HE is your God.  He is the miracle worker, the storm trooper, the fire-lighter, your PROVIDER, the beginning and the end, the love song.

This morning I had $1400 left to raise for China and by 4:00pm it was all taken care of. 5 days to spare.  Why is he so sweet to me?  I don't know, but I like it.  :-)

Earlier this week, my previous roommate (the lovely Rachel Wesseling) and I had to move completely out of our house on Downey Ave.  So I am sitting in my new livingroom surrounded by boxes that I am sorting through one by one.  I am throwing things away...I'm putting things in new places...I'm strolling down memory lane.  I'm finding things I didn't even know I had! Including stuff Brian and Zach both forgot at my house when we were dating. (one guy at a time, of course...and YES I've notified them both that I have their stuff!) Life is funny.

I'm finding accounts of other times where my eyes opened and I could see that God's hand had never left me.  Still holding, still guiding, still MIGHTY to save. When I went to Washington for a class trip in High School, I had $700 left to raise and the weekend before the due date, someone just handed my mother $700 and told her that her and her husband felt like they wanted me to have it.  When I went to Indonesia, the money came rolling in last minute as well. Does God just like to rescue you right before the last finger slips from the cliff?  I don't know....but he always comes through.

Last year I found out that during a very traumatic moment in my childhood, Jesus had actually covered my entire being to shield me and protect my heart. I had always blamed him for what had happened to me in this memory, harbored anger and had felt betrayed for years.  But even in the midst of pain and heartbreak, when we are not always aware of what he is doing- He always comes through.

In Chicago, when I had lost my job and was POOR, in debt, and using my credit card to buy groceries, he brought me to a church family and friends who helped me float until I could reach the shore.  When my heart has been broken over the years in relationships, God has always sang over me in my darkest hours, pouring his healing balm over the cracks of my heart. He's been intentional about showing me my wholeness, of restoring, and REDEEMING.

He has always come through, and he always will.  His hand is MIGHTY to save.  Always.

Thank you, my love!  I can't wait to love your littlest children in China.  I pray that you will perform miracles of healing and miracles of the heart.  That parents and guardians will rise up around the world and reach out to these dear children.  I pray that you will use our team to bring relief to the workers at the orphanage, and to spread love and hope.  I pray for each little heart.  That it will grow, blossom, bloom, and be held in the sun...affirmed, appreciated and loved.  Thank you for always coming through.  I love you!!!!

...Changes...

Well some of you know but I will tell you anyway- our trip got moved back due to some of our team members needing to drop out due to family conflicts.  This actually is a blessing because now we all have more time to raise the money we need for the trip!  HOORAY!!!

I am getting very excited about this trip.  I can't wait to hold those little babies and children in my arms and squeeeeeeeeze and laugh and love on them and PLAY!!!!!!!!!!  I know there may be unpleasant things on this trip and I'm okay with that.  Sometimes the beauty is buried in the ashes, waiting to emerge.

I have also been learning Mandarin, which has been fun so far.  I have developed some basic conversational skills and practically run over every Chinese person I meet, eager to try them out!  Haha.  No one else is learning Chinese and we don't really need to, but I love learning language and culture and I just can't help myself.  Especially since I have the motivating factor of actually heading towards China.  :-)

Anyway- just wanted to give you guys a brief update!!!

Thanks everyone who has donated so far, secretly or not...I appreciate it!  1k down, 3k to go!!!!

Love,
Melissa

Chifeng, China......HERE I COME!!!!

I’ve always loved children. Even when I was a child, I loved children. When people would ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up, Melissa?” My first, exuberant response was, “A MOMMY!!!” My family loves to recount a story where I was asked, at the age of 4, how many children I wanted. My response was an insane amount such as, ten thousand. Later, as I grew older I would often try to convince my parents to adopt or foster parent. I didn’t understand why there were orphans in the world when there were so many people with love to share.

I’m writing this letter to you because I have been given an incredible opportunity to visit a special needs orphanage in Chifeng, China this summer! I am going with the organization Visiting Orphans. Please check them out at www.visitingorphans.com. Visiting Orphans works with government run Social Welfare Institutes (SWI) to help bring love and assistance to some of the 20 million children without families in China. I will be part of a team bringing joy and love to these little ones through games, crafts, music, etc. I am so excited about squeezing these little ones and blessing the workers and children there in whatever way we can.

As you can imagine, I will need a lot of prayer and moolah (money) to go to China! I signed onto this trip several weeks ago but at that time, the trip date had not yet been decided. In the last week or so, the trip date has been set for the first two weeks of JUNE! (Which gives me about 2 weeks to raise the first $2,000!!) The trip cost will be around $3800-$4000! Some of you are probably thinking, ‘She is crazy to think that she can get all of that money together in such a short amount of time!’ WELL...my thought is that if it is God, it is good. I believe that with God, anything is possible!

Thankfully Visiting Orphans has provided a way to donate that is tax-deductible for you and will then go toward the cost of my trip. For those snail-mail recipients, I have enclosed an envelope where you can send me your donation and then I’ll send them together to the Visiting Orphans office. You can donate online as well at www.visitingorphans.com and click on “Donate” on the top right of the home page. Then you can select “Chifeng, China-May 2012” under “Fund Category” and then click “Yes” under “Would you like to designate this donation to a specific team member?” and then type in my name. Either way is fine. I do have a special request, however. If you are able to donate financially toward my trip, would you please do so within the next week? I apologize for the late notice and thank you in advance for understanding!

I will be blogging about my experiences and the weeks leading up to the trip on my blog, http://www.songsofthesongbird.blogspot.com/. On that website I will also have prints of my original artwork or commission pieces available for donors. At the end of my trip I will also select by drawing, from all of my donors, a winner of a photo scrapbook of my trip! I want to offer these things to you because I want you to have something of my heart to show you my gratitude for your generosity and love.

Please pray for this trip to be a blessing to the children and workers we will be interacting with. Also pray for the unity and heart of our team as we reach out in love and for safety as we travel. Pray for me that I would continue to step out BOLDLY and in CONFIDENCE when I hear the sweet prompting of the Lord. I am so excited to see what he does on this trip!!! Lastly, please pray for these workers and children that they would continually feel the love of God in their lives, that they would truly KNOW him and LOVE him.

Thank you so much for reading my letter and joining with me in this amazing adventure!

Love,
Melissa Mowat