Beautiful *Leah- Tijuana Testimony

*Leah's transformed face as she left the party!

I promised that I would be posting more on the blog and updating you all with stories and testimonies, and so I am going to be rewinding through the year and pulling all of my favorites from the corners of my memory.

I have many stories and testimonies from Tijuana, but I wanted to share about *Leah.

On our last night in Tijuana, we threw a party for all of the prostitutes, pimps, strippers, and their children.  We threw it in the most unlikely of places:  a gay strip club.  I have no idea what strip clubs usually look like, but this one was disgusting.  We spent several hours cleaning the club and re-decorating it.  One of our team members, Brettley said:  "Sometimes love looks like covering a stripper pole with balloons" We placed table cloths and candles on each table and strung balloons across the room and really transformed the place.  I remember sometime amidst the preparation feeling this overwhelming heaviness.  You could feel the threats of the enemy whispering viciously in your ears.  The spiritual darkness and warfare was very obvious, so I did the only thing that came to my heart: sing.

I went to the second floor where the "V.I.P." suites are and where no one could see me but where I knew all of hell could hear me and I sang at the top of my lungs praises to Jesus until I could feel the atmosphere shifting.  I imagined all of those spirits plugging their ears as they ran screaming from the building.  My friend Emily joined me and started singing loudly and we sang and sang until it lifted and the uneasy, queasy feeling in my stomach evaporated.  The taunts of the enemy ceased.

Later, when all of the decorating was done, one of our trip leaders asked if I would lead some worship on the stage.  I found it very difficult.  It really felt like someone had their hand around my throat and clamping my mouth shut.  I sang a little bit but then turned my guitar over to another worship leader on our team, Sam.  He had the same problem and turned it over to another musician Austin, but he also had trouble.  The musicians set to play didn't come and so it was getting off to a rocky beginning.  Our leaders gathered to pray one more time together before people started arriving and again we could feel the tension evaporate.

But.... as we waited...

No one was coming.

I began to think we had thrown a party for ourselves when the first girl showed up:  *Leah.  We supported the local church in Tijuana and so many of them were also there that night to minister to whoever came.  Some of our team went and got food for *Leah and began chatting with her.  A little later, Sam came over to me and told me that *Leah was a singer and wanted to sing and asked if I could come over with my guitar.  When I came over, she wanted to sing "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion.  Not being particularly adept to the guitar, I asked Sam to play and so he did and she sang.  As she sang, we began to see pictures and words from the Father that he wanted us to share with her.  As we did, she smiled and something in her eyes would change.  Walls were coming down!

The night before, I had asked Sam (who speaks Spanish fluently) to help me translate one of my songs in Spanish in case the opportunity came to sing over any of the girls.  He turned to her in this moment and asked *Leah if she would like to hear a song I wrote.  She said yes!  So Sam and I sang her a song I wrote in Spanish.  The lyrics were:

" I put my trust in you, O Everlasting Father.
   I put my trust in you, O Everlasting Father.

   You're a rock
    You're a high place
    You're a fortress, in you I can rest.

  I put my hope in you, O Everlasting Father.
  I put my hope in you, O Everlasting Father.

  You're a rock
   You're a high place
  You're a fortress!

  I run into you when I'm afraid
  I run into you and I am saved.
  I run into you when I'm afraid.
  I run into you and I am safe

  Cause' you're a rock!
  You're a high place!
   You're a fortress!!

  You don't have to move, you don't have to move.
  The Lord, himself, will fight for you!"

It was amazing as we sang because she started singing along and her eyes started tearing up as the words impacted her!  The woman next to her, who was one of the local missionaries, also started to cry!

Earlier, we had bought jewelry and clothing to give and bless the guests to this party, and so one of my teammates came over with three different bracelets and asked if I wanted to give her one.  My eyes fell on a pretty delicate silver one with a purple stone.  "That one."  I said confidently.  I knew it was the one.  I cupped it secretively and came back over to the table, where another team mate Grant, had just served *Leah a big piece of cake.

"Close your eyes.  I have a surprise for you." I told *Leah.  She did so with a shy smile.

I placed the delicate bracelet into her open palm and then told her to open her eyes.

Her wide brown eyes stared at the bracelet for several moments before filling with tears.  She looked up at me and back down at the bracelet and then said breathlessly,
"No, you don't understand" she said, looking back up at me.

"I had a dream about this bracelet.  This exact bracelet.  I was walking on the beach and it was buried in the sand and I heard a voice calling me, telling me to pick it up.  So I did and I put it on, and the voice said I was royalty."  Then she laughed, kind of self-consciously. "I'm sorry I'm crying.  It's so funny, because lately I've been listening to the radio too and I feel like I'm going crazy or maybe God is talking to me because every song is talking about how I'm royalty and special."

We then were able to speak to her more about how God sees her and how special she is.  This led to her feeling safe and COMPLETELY opening up to us about her story.

It was heartbreaking but also EYE- opening for me to realize I could have been her.  This could have happened to me.

She was a pastors kid.  Had been adopted as a toddler into an Southern California Home, the daughter of YWAM pastors.  She grew up wanting to know more about her birth parents and feeling insecurities and deep depression and was pursued as a teenager by an older man in his 40s.  In her own words, she was rebellious and stupid and ran away with this man for a "vacation" to Tijuana.  While there, he left her and she began working as a waitress in a bar.  One day while listening to her headphones and dancing, she was encouraged by her boss to try "dancing" on stage.  So she began to dance and would escape into the music so she wouldn't have to think about what she was doing and the eyes that were always on her.  When that stopped working, she started using drugs to keep out the feelings of shame and guilt that she felt.

One night, a man waited for her until her shift was over.  She felt "honored" that he had waited all night for her and had roses.  She fell in love with him.  But once they were together, he started pimping her out.  She now calls him her "baby daddy" as she has had several children that he has taken on as his.  But it is obvious that he is her pimp...and one of the ways that they traffic women is by performing this same routine.  They sweet talk and lure a woman into feeling safe and in-love and then they prostitute them out.  Several times while we were talking she grew scared thinking he might show up at the party.

There was much more to her story, but that is the basic gist.  We were able to prophesy over her, encouraging her and edifying her and telling her the ways that God saw her... and we were able to pray with and encourage her.  Throughout the night, her entire countenance TRANSFORMED!

What I saw was how love transformed her.  One of our guys, Grant, really made me proud as he was intentional about treating her like a lady the entire night.  She made several comments saying:  "When I arrived, he treated me like a lady.  He made me feel like this entire party was thrown in my honor...and it really has felt that way."

She left feeling loved, cherished, royal, special, and pursued by the God who made her and loves her.  The local pastors and church we ministered with have stayed in contact with her and are pursuing her as well.

Please keep *Leah in your prayers, and the other ladies that live with her.  Pray for her "baby daddy" and pimp, that he will also come to know the Father...and that they will all be freed.


*Name has been changed to protect the identity and safety of the individual involved.

Cleaning up the club

 A view of some of the private boxes and dancing cages

 A view of the bar as we decorated and cleaned

Sam and Austin worshipping on the strip club stage 

Worship while decorating and final touches: lighting candles 

Flooding that place with worship!

We rented a taco truck to feed ourselves and our guests!

The entrance to the club: Sky Blue

Children of some of the women came

And we fed them too and enjoyed practicing our Spanish to their giggling delight!

THANK YOU SUPPORTERS!!!!!!

I wanted to give you guys a quick update on my life and ministry plans.  First of all I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU SO MUCH for your prayers and financial support.  I'm honestly in massive shock that this whole year took place!  What a miracle!!!  When the company I was working for experienced financial hardship and I lost my job last June, I honestly did not believe God when he said he would make a way for me to go to Bethel this year.  None of it made any sense!  I had to raise $4,000 within a month just to get out there with my first months rent and my first deposit for school!!!  CRAZY!

And within those 5 weeks, miracles happened. Various "jobs" came out of NOWHERE: Rebecca Nordman needing her house and animals watched over for two weeks, various babysitting gigs, dusting and cleaning for Elise and Todd Durell's new move, dog-watching positions provided by Jackie O'Bold and SO MANY MORE!  Checks coming in the mail, and that random suspicious letter that was in my mailbox with no return address that contained $400 CASH!  

And just like that... I was headed to California.  I told God I would go if he made a way... and he did.  Gulp.

Just as quickly as that money slipped into my hands, it slipped back out.... to tuition, rent, gas to drive across the country.... and there I was.... again....needing his hand to sustain me.

God provided so many strange ways for me to make money, from starting my own airport shuttle company (which now has other employees) to selling my artwork.  The expenses combined from ministry trips, school, and my own bills made me CONSTANTLY doubt God along the way even though HE was continually faithful.

Much of the time he worked through YOU!   $4,327 of my expenses were provided by YOU through donations and buying paintings!!!!!!  I was able to work for part of the year also which made up the rest of my expenses.  In the end, 100% of my expenses were provided by God!!!  I am shocked and amazed at your generosity!  Around $1400 of that money was given ANONYMOUSLY.  That always AMAZES me... that people give with no way of someone saying thank you or responding to that generosity.

So for you anonymous rascals, I say THANK YOU!!!

I was accepted into the 2nd year program in May and have been praying since then about what to do.  That is one reason I have not sent out an update in quite a while.  I also still need to update you about my time in Tijuana, but please also feel free to check my blog:  www.songsofthesongbird.blogspot.com where I will be posting pictures and miraculous stories from the entire year.

I was offered a job a couple of weeks ago, assisting adults with disabilities in Redding, CA.  This job would be able to provide for me much of my expenses and since the hours would be on the weekend, would not interfere with my school schedule.  It is an amazing opportunity, but I am still figuring out all of the logistics.

Currently I need to raise about $1,000 just to get out there again and pay for my first months rent and pay the first tuition payment.

I want you to know that when I am talking about the money I need, I am not necessarily asking for money.  I ONLY want you to give if it is out of the abundance of your heart...and it is what you WANT to do.  I don't want you to feel guilty or worried or shamed when giving because you love me and you feel you should.  I also don't want to give if you feel resentful towards me or other short term missionaries who raise support through newsletters.  I want you to give out of joy if you are going to give at all.

I want you to see a letter from me in your inbox and be excited about reading the account of God's goodness inside and not dreading the inevitable request for funds and money.  I don't want to do things that way, so please hear my heart.  I WILL let you all know when I need money, but you are not obligated at ANY time to give. I WILL also let you know when I DONT need money!  And share testimonies and accounts of God working throughout the world.  

I want to be more intentional about my newsletters and blogging this year so that I am posting about how good he is MORE than I am posting my needs!

There are SOOOO many testimonies from this year that I want to release over you for being such amazing prayer partners and supporters! I want THAT to be my focus when I write to you.  

All that to say....YOU have been one of my biggest testimonies this year.  The alarming delight of God's people coming behind one another in support and family love.  To see God say he will make a way for me and then BACK IT UP.  I am sad to say I really did not believe him when he said that it was going to be taken care of... but here I am... a year later...with an abundance of his love and experiences from this year in my heart and mind.

He really can do so much more than we can ever think or imagine.

Please pray for me this summer as I make plans to head back for 2nd year.  It will be a year of activation as we will be sent out more to minister to the world and to the local American church as well.  

It will be another miracle, but I believe this time.  I believe that God will make a way clear...and if he diverts my path, I will follow him whole-heartedly.  My pursuit and passion is HIM.  Not Bethel.  Not IHOP.  Not a "ministry".

It's just Him.  I love him, I love him, I love him!  And where he goes I'll follow.  HE IS MY DESTINY.

Love you all!!!!

Climbing A Mountain

You know those crazy people who always talked about being a "world changer" with film and art and music and creativity? I'm talking about the Bob Briner's of the world who recognized that the performance and entertainment industry is one of the most influential and revered areas of society.  I used to think that mountain was just too big to climb and that you had to be super beautiful, rich, and connected to have influence like that.

I don't think like that anymore.  Being part of this school and doing full time ministry with a bunch of people who are PASSIONATE, DRIVEN, and TALENTED has changed my mind.

I DO have what it takes to be influential and make a difference.

I'm happy to go wherever God sends me and do whatever he puts on my heart to do...say what he says.... Jesus modeled this for us when he only said and did what he saw the Father doing.  I like that.

I don't have unrealistic, lofty dreams for myself.  I have lofty, heavenly dreams for YOU! This world.  My heart is to climb the mountains of entertainment, politics, and creative arts in this world and take down the idols and demonic strongholds that exist there. The media has SO much influence in this world and is often used to traffic sex, twisted secular humanism, and hopelessness.

I don't have a particular area that I have to be involved in, but I do feel a specific burden for love-starved hollywood stars, media moguls, business, politics, and musicians struggling with drug and alcohol addiction, identity, money-worship, and mounting fears.

If you had asked me in high school, I would have told you I would love to be a singer or an actress... I never would have said Missionary.

But maybe...

Maybe God gave me talents that fit in these industries, because he knew he would one day plant in me a heart for the people trapped in these places.  We send missionaries all over the world, we cheer on our political, business, and educational Christian heroes but where are the people in Hollywood TRULY there to bring LOVE, BEAUTY, TRUTH, and LIGHT?  Believe it or not, there are more than you think.

I know, because I've met some while I have been here in California.  It has been encouraging to see a group of people going towards an industry, motivated out of love, creativity, beauty, and FREEDOM.

So what?  Am I moving to Hollywood?  No.  Not yet. Maybe not ever.

Truthfully- I get confused as to where/what/when is my mission field.  All I know is that I have one.  All I know is WHO I am...and WHOSE I am.

I know I have a heart for JUSTICE... My prayers storm the gates of heaven on behalf of teen pregnancies, women, beauty, victims of trafficking, abuse, drugs, slavery, abortion, and any other crime against the children God created.

I know I have a heart for TRUTH...to see it etched into people's hearts like tattoos, so they can find JOY and therefore HOPE! To see it bring them to FREEDOM.

I know I have a heart for BEAUTY and IDENTITY.... to see it restored into women, men, relationships, creative arts.  That people can walk into a family and be forever adopted as sons and daughters of a loving Father.

I know I have a heart for WORSHIP... to create and inspire and do the things I was created to do to bring God glory and honor and praise.  To make him smile.  To show him how much I love him.  To show him how beautiful I think the world he made and the people he rescued are.

So where am I going?  I don't know.  That's why I am at a ministry school specifically.  So that I can pursue FULL-TIME ministry AND pursue finding the direction to plug in all of these passions.

So right now my mission field is in Redding, California and that is where I am currently spinning like a cyclone and letting fireworks of music, color and creativity burst out of me in every direction.  I am writing screenplays, filming, acting in films, singing and writing songs, leading worship, teaching theatre, writing, painting... I am worshipping my God. And I am hopefully creating bridges for people to find Him.

New Way to Purchase My Music, Art, and Donate towards my Ministry

I am now on Go Fund Me:

http://www.gofundme.com/6sjvvc

Click on the link and you can donate.  You can also send your funds there if you have purchased a print or product from me!

Love you guys!

Birthday Treasure Hunt (Full Story)

It was my birthday, December 19th and I was flying home to see my family that I haven't seen in FOREVER and I was so excited.  My flight was from SFO to Traverse City, Michigan with a connecting flight in Chicago.  My layover in Chicago was already 5 hours, so when I arrived early in the morning (around 3 or 4am) I decided to sleep at my gate until my flight.

I woke up about 15 minutes before departure to realize that they had changed my gate and moved the flight from Terminal F to Terminal C!  So I started running and running.  I was so sleep deprived and when I arrived at the gate I burst into tears when I realized that they had closed the gate.  I was crying like I hadn't cried in a LONG time, like a child.  (In retrospect, I wonder if this moment allowed other things to be vented) 

The gate agent checked with the pilot (the plane was still there) but they had already run all pre-flight checks and wouldn't accept me on board.  Then my plane stood there during the whole ten minutes that this gate agent changed my flight.  Why couldn't they just let me on?!?!?!  I was SO annoyed and angry and I stormed off to go wait FIVE MORE HOURS, ugly-crying like a kid, on some bench.

Of course I updated my facebook status saying something about this being the worst birthday ever and people started encouraging me saying that maybe God had someone at the airport waiting to be blessed through me.  I called my sister and she said the same thing and it annoyed me.  I thought, 'I don't want to comfort anyone right now, I want someone to comfort me.'  Basically, I was having the most embarrassing pity party ever at 8am and am SO GLAD no one was there to actually see it. 

Anyway, as I was sitting there thoughts came to me... like... "Am I letting the enemy win?  Am I letting him steal my birthday?  What if God had someone that I could bless on my birthday?  What if we could do a treasure hunt?  Wouldn't that be fun on my birthday?  What if someone actually GOT SAVED or HEALED on my birthday?!"  And I started getting excited about the potential of the situation.

SO I told God that since my phone was dying I would pray for as long as it took my phone to charge and then I would go looking for the clues that he gave me.  I was starting to get hopeful and excited.  I even re-did my make-up and hair so that I wouldn't look scary to whoever I was talking to!!! :-) 

I just started writing down everything I heard and didn't stop to analyze it.  I started seeing that I would get different categories so I would just write on a different page or place.  I had gotten some very distinct descriptions for two elderly people later on in my list, but the first 7 clues were really specific and I wasn't sure if it was for just one young person or multiple so I decided I would just look around and see. (I'll attach a picture of the list)

The first clues I got were:

-Purple shirt

-Dread-like brown hair.  Not necessarily full dreads but close- unkempt?

-Blue or green or maybe light eyes... beautiful.

-Possibly freckles

-Black and white converse or tennis shoes

-Gray or black jeans

-Dysmorphic Body Image

-Dad issues

-Dreading Christmas

-Cat

 and on and on...

For locations I got:

McDonalds

"C"

"D"

12

1,2,3

14

So I decided to start with locations.  I thought the numbers might be gate numbers so I walked down to gate 12.  To my surprise and delight between gates 12 and 14 was the McDonalds!  But I didn't see any people to match any of the descriptions.  This whole time I am wavering between excitement and doubt.  "Am I REALLY actually going to find anyone?  These are a lot of specifics!"  So I decide to at least find my gate first (gate 7) and then go look.

So I walk down to gate 7 and I notices that gates 1-7 are in this massive semi-circle.  So from gate 7, you can see gates 1-3 (which was on my list)  So I sit down and just look towards those gates and all of a sudden, SHE walks through between gates 2 and 3!!!!

She had the purple shirt!!!!  Oh my gosh, she had the dread-like brown hair!!!!  She has tennis shoes on!  And gray jeans!!!  Oh my goodness, its her!!!!!

I start freaking out.  I don't even know what to do.  The only other times I have done treasure hunts have been with groups of people or our youth group back home!  

So I just start following her! Haha.  I'm asking God for strategy.  I'm asking him to give me a good window.  She's kind of walking through the terminal, looking at all the shops.

She goes over to a charging kiosk and plugs her phone in.  So I decide to plug my phone in right next to her.  I turned my phone face down of course, so she couldn't see that my phone was in fact, fully charged. :-)  Guess where the charging kiosk was?  RIGHT ACROSS FROM MCDONALDS, Between gates 12 and 14!!!!  (more freaking out and being amazed by God)

So I have no idea how to open the convo... "Hello, I love Jesus and I know it's weird, but I've been following you..."  NO.

So I decide to take a picture of her (also attached) because I figure even if I chicken out and don't talk to her, I would have at least the proof to myself that I DID hear from God and I found someone that God told me to find.

So I take the picture (like a crazy person) and as I'm praying for God to give me some kind of "in" to strike up conversation naturally with her, she pulls out a Nikon DSLR and starts taking pictures of people and the airport.  (I have been a professional photographer for the last 7 years.)  So I say:

"Oh, hey!  Are you a photographer?"

"Oh no, I just really love taking pictures."

"Oh cool, what kind of camera is that?  I'm actually a photographer."

"Oh no way!  That's cool"

So we chit-chat for a little about photography and then **crickets** start chirping and I feel it in my gut...like this butterfly attack is happening....

I thought the "C" or "D" might be a name so I started thinking Chloe, Cara, Caitlyn, etc... So I said, "Hey does your name start with a 'C'?"

"No."

**Crickets**  The enemy immediately says, "Fail.  Just walk away, nothing on that list is going to apply to her."  But I remembered how the description matched her EXACTLY, so I kept going....

"So hey!  This might sound weird, but it's my birthday today and I'm a Christian"

"Oh, I'm a Christian too!" she says with a smile.

"Oh great, maybe this will be easier then."  I say

And I tell her about my missed flight and my ugly-cry pity party and then I tell her that I'm growing in my ability to hear God and respond to what he tells me and that sometimes I like to go on "treasure hunts" with God, where he gives me clues about people and then I go out looking for the people he told me about.  

She is a mixture of curious, incredulous, and interested.

I go on to say that I believe God led me to her and gave me clues to find her, reading the first 6 clues on the list aloud to her, which she reacted surprised and excited to each one.  "No way!  Does it really say that!"

So clue number 7 was a little more serious... Dysmorphic body image.... and I was afraid to say that to her, so I prefaced with something like:

"Ok, so I'm just going to read through these clues, but I want you to feel completely free to say, 'Actually, that's totally not me' because I know that there are at least two other people that God gave me descriptions for, and some of these might have to do with them, so feel free to tell me if they are not you."

And she was like, "Ok cool"

"So," I said, "This next one is a little personal, but have you ever, or do you still struggle with like a dysmorphic body image?"

She instantly started to tear up.  "Um, yeah.  I still struggle with that.   I've been struggling with Body Dysmorphic Disorder since I was a teenager and I'm 30 now and it's still something I struggle with"

And I said, "Ok, well I think God wants to heal you of that today"

to which she emphatically nodded and said, "Okay!"

Then I just went down the list....and through the next 3 pages and EVERYTHING (except for the description of the old man and woman) WAS HER!!!!

My next clue was "Dad issues" and she had some unresolved issues with her dad

I asked her if she was looking forward to Christmas (it said "dreading Christmas" on the list, and I really didn't want to ask that) and at first she said yes, but then she was like,.... "Well what does it say?"

And God immediately gave me a download into why she was dreading Christmas and so I said, 

"Well it says you are 'dreading Christmas' but I feel like its more about how you are feeling this year.  You really love your family and are looking forward to being with them, but you are also dreading it because there are some tensions with your family right now and when you are around them, you don't really feel valued, seen, or have a voice"

  *WIDE EYES, NODS, "Yeah that's right..."*

I had relationship with sister written down later and I just heard 'brother' so I said, "And specifically with your sister, dad, and do you have a brother...?"  *WIDE EYES, NOD*  "Okay, so yeah, with him too?"  (More incredulous, teary nodding) 

"And also, a lot of your siblings are married and have started their families, and so often feel lonely and depressed when you are around them.."  *CRYING, NOD, "Yes, that's so true."*

She goes on to share she has several siblings but that she has been having trouble with her father, brother and one sister who recently just had a baby...

The next clue was a picture I had seen so I start describing it to her and God starts downloading as I am speaking...

"Did you dance or sing as a little girl?"

"Yes I was a ballerina for 13 years and I was involved in choirs as a kid"

"Ok, yeah because I saw this picture of you as a little girl, and you were dancing ballet on this stage and you kept looking out towards the audience because you were hoping your family was there to watch you and be proud but no one was there.   In fact, the entire auditorium was empty. (she starts tearing up again)  I don't think this is a memory.  I think this is a picture of how you feel RIGHT now, in your life. You don't feel seen and supported or valued. But as I was looking out at the auditorium, I saw that God was there and he was standing, cheering you on and clapping for you with such pride and love for you."

*CRYING, "Wow.."*

"And I feel like God is saying that no matter how you have felt, unseen and unheard that he wants you to know that HE sees you and values you and loves you.  It is his delight to watch you go after the things in your heart.  And I also feel like this dancing and singing represents a WHOLE side of yourself that you have been neglecting lately.  (*Yes, wow...that's so true.  You have no idea..*)  And that God is encouraging you to sing and dance again and go after the things that make your heart come alive.  It doesn't have to mean a career switch, but the fact that you have silenced this creative and alive part of who you are and that God just wants to encourage you to come back to that, because there is a lot of life there for you"

And she is just amazed and crying and smiling and affirming the words.

So I skip to the next page where it says, "Emotional/Spiritual Issues" and I again say the thing about her telling me if something doesn't apply to her.

"Have you been having bad dreams lately?  Like maybe the last couple of months"

"Shut up!  Does it really say that?  Yes, I have been having awful dreams"

"Ok well not after today. We can pray for that.  What about anger issues?  Specifically I see that sometimes you try not to let things bother you but it does and it builds up and then it just comes out at the strangest times and surprises you and the people that are on the other side of it."

"Wow, yeah.  That's totally accurate. It's always a complete surprise and throws ME off guard and I'm the one who's angry"

"Ok, well we will pray for that too. Have you been struggling with depression or any thoughts of suicide?" 

"Depression, yes totally.  Really bad actually.  Not suicidal thoughts though, thankfully but really bad depression."

"Ok and we already talked about your dad and sister, so we will pray for all of those things."

The last list I had was physical ailments, so I explained to her that I believed God wanted to not just touch her heart, but also her body if she had any physical pain or illness.

"Oh well actually I don't need any healing.  I don't have anything wrong with me."

"Oh, okay.  Well let me read through the list and if you know of anyone else with these, we can pray for them."

"Oh! Okay, cool!"

"Ok the first thing I wrote down was "throat" but I think this is something spiritual too because the last thing I wrote was "voice".  I think spiritually you have felt like you have no voice, and you are not heard...but i think sometimes this actually happens to you....when you really want to say something and you find that you are actually not able to.  Like its almost like right at that moment you can't actually speak"

"Yes, wow.  No, that is crazy...that happens to me all of the time"

"Ok, well we can pray for that.  The next thing is wrists... do you have pain with your wrists at all?"

"Nope."

"Anyone you know? "

"Not that I know of."

"Ok, well maybe that's for another person.  The next thing I have is "Body issues" which we already talked about and we are definitely going to pray for.  THe next thing is lower abdomen.  Do you have any pain in that area?"

"Well sometimes I have with digestion, but not right now."

"Ok well we will pray for your digestive track anyway.  Haha.  Um the next one is kind of specific, your left lower back... like right above your hip?"

"Oh my goodness!  I do have pain there!  I've had it for so long, I forgot about it!  I have chronic pain in that area."

"Ok, no worries! Jesus totally wants to heal that today! The last one I have is  your right ankle"

"NO WAY!  I just hurt that YESTERDAY!  I was hiking and I just turned or twisted it wrong..."

"Ok, well that's going to get healed too!  Do you mind if I put my hand on your ankle?"

And you know what happens next pretty much.  We prayed for ALL of it.  The physical stuff, the emotional and spiritual stuff.  God gave me words and even specific spirits to pray against. I had her break a few agreements...we walked into some lies and declared the truth over them.  I honestly, no longer worried about being "weird" because it was obvious God had miraculously opened a huge door and prepared her to receive what he had for her.  She had no more pain, and her countenance from when I first talked with her to the end was markedly different.  I told her towards the end that I thought there were 3 main things that God wanted to communicate with her and to her today.

I said, 1. You are seen.  God sees you and he loves you.  What you think and say and feel matters to him.  He wants you to know that no matter what you are feeling, that he is here.  He loves you so much.  Out of all of the people in this entire airport that he could have led me to, he led me to YOU!  Very specifically.  You just saw with your own eyes and heard with your own ears that God has you on his heart and mind and wants to talk with you and bless you.

2. He cares about your family. He is all about reconciliation and unity.  He wants you to know that he has seen how hard it has been lately with your family and he's not going to stop fighting for your family.  His heart is that you will all be restored and healthy and unified.  He is not giving up, ever.

3. I feel like God is extending an invitation to you today.  You are a Christian and I can tell that you really do believe and love God but you have also been kind of distant from him lately.  He's not upset at you and his heart towards you has not changed at all, but he's inviting you to have MORE if you want it.  I keep hearing the lyrics of that song, "If you want it, come and get it..." I saw this picture and I heard that verse where he talks about the 'banquet table laden with choice foods'... just laid out with all of this amazing food.  And I see that there is this table and it has amazing things for you on it.  And God is inviting you to come to the table and be with him  and that verse comes to mind where it says, "I stand at the door and knock.  If any man hears my voice and he opens the door, I will come in and be with him"  God has been knocking for a while, gently.  He will not barge through the door.  He's patient with you and it's your choice how close you want him to come to you, but he's inviting you to have more, and he's waiting at the door.  But no one can make that choice for you or give that to you.  Certainly not some stranger at the airport.  Haha.  It's up to you.  But know that God is inviting you to MORE.  In every area of your life.  You have a call on your life to start REALLY living....

And then she said thank you and how amazing and incredible this day has been and she can't believe how much love Jesus has for her that he would bring me to her to say all of these things to her and tell her about herself. And she said that she could tell that even I didn't realize how accurate and spot on what I was saying was, that I had "no idea" even more of the details and back story was but that everything went together and deeply touched her. Haha. And then SHE PRAYED FOR ME!!!!!!!  And she blessed me and loved on me!!!!  And we exchanged emails and took pictures of ourselves.  Haha.  It was SO amazing!!!!

One thing that really struck me besides THE OBVIOUS all of the above, was how quickly God wooed my heart from devastation and distress into complete JOY and freedom.  It completely reminds me of Job 36:16 where it says, "He is wooing you from the jaws of distress into a spacious place, free from restriction"  which is actually a verse I gave to her when I was praying for her!  And I just looked it up and the end of it says, "to the comfort of your table, laden with choice food."  Hahah!!!!!  I totally forgot that was the end of that verse!!!!!  I really hope she looked it up!  Hahahahha!

Anyway- God used me even when I had THE WORST attitude and he turned my mourning into dancing and rejoicing.  And he blessed this woman unbelievably.  I don't think she could have walked away from that unchanged.

I am attaching the photos of the treasure hunt journal entries and well as the pictures of her.  

Bless you!

Tijuana Fundraising Update!!!

Thank you SOOO much all who donated to my trip today! I not only made the $300 deadline for tonight, but I also cut into the remaining $500 due on the trip account and now I only owe $145!!!! CRAZY! I did not expect that much money to come in today! You all amaze me and I can't wait to show you the film and the testimonies that come out of our time in Tijuana! Bless you!!!!!!


$755 raised!
$145 to go!

https://missiontrips.ibethel.org/